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Poppy

Less than one year later...

Whoa! An update! Already! Hooray!

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Ian: And we'll add a happy little tree in the background...
Isana: AH FEEL ET IN MAH BONEZ...ENUFF TO MAKE MAH SYSTEM BLOW...

The creativity cup overfloweth. (Actually, Ian's just working on Bitte's heir portrait.)

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Daphne: I like dancing adorably! Am I heir yet?

Oh, good! Daphne is Lily, the remix.

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Evan: *naptimes*

I know that feel, bro.

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Desdemona: *eats salad, contemplates life*

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Isana: What is this Trog...dor? On your shirt? He burninates things? I think I could be on board with that...
Evan: MY GOD, THIS IS NOT FASHION WEEK. FEED ME. DO YOU KNOW THAT IF I STARVE, I WILL BE TAKEN AWAY, AND EVERYONE WILL CRY ABOUT IT FOR THE NEXT TWO GENERATIONS?! SUSTENANCE, DAMN YOU! I REQUIRE IT!

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In lieu of food, Evan receives a modicum of self-sufficiency. This pleases me, also, because the poor guy has gotten only about ten seconds of sleep at a time his whole life thus far, because all the adults can't decide which crib is superior and they kept waking him up to transfer him. It was really obnoxious. I had to lock the nursery door for Daphne.

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Evan: ...and despite my lack of social interaction and potty training, I still hope to be able to make a friend and not piss myself! Thank you!

Evan dreams big, man, what can I say?

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Daphne: After I've had my beauty rest, I'd like for you to draw me a warm bath. I want to be clean for my afternoon of toilet wading, you understand.
The Butler: Yeah, I'm gonna chuck you in a crib and forget you ever existed while I swoon over Ian for the last six hours of my shift.
Isana: Oh, yeah, they're amazing! I've got a pair you can have if you like...
Greta: *is hidden behind The Butler's head, but is still interested in the handcuffs*
Ian: Whosa pretty puppy? Who is? You are, yes you are! Hey, did The Dog get a haircut or something?
The Hound: No...I'm an entirely diff...okay, nevermind. Yep. Haircut. Miracles of grooming and suchlike.

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Princess Daphne sleeps like a sir in her formal gown.

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Evan: >:( Hooray for sports. Why do you have to ruin everything?

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Isana: I gotta be me!

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Ghost of Michelle: I GOTTA BE ME.
Isana: CONCEPTION OF CHRIST! Thanks for making me pee myself! ++

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Finn: Thank you, indeed. *eyebrow waggle*

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Evan: *discovers Tumblr, ceases needing anything else, ever*

I know that feel, bro.

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Isana: My god! This bathtub that is alarmingly not wooden, is also shockingly not in my way!

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Ian: Yeah yeah, surprise that bath's not wooden, whatever. I got business. Stay or go, I don't care.
Evan: I can't believe the bathtub isn't wooden...
Isana: Is this cheating? Watching this? I feel like it might be cheating... oh well! *watches*

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Finn: *does whatever the fuck this is*

I'm sure it's got something to do with that vulgar non-wooden bathtub.

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The Butler was busy swooning over Ian, so I sent Ian to fix the dishwasher. I watched and waited for him to get shocked, but Ian's a pro and everything went off without so much as a curse word.

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Greta: I...uh...I am so glad this...chef painting has a white frame instead of a light wood one...
Ian: You were checking out my ass while I fixed the dishwasher weren't you?

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Greta: I was...what? Haha! Ha! That's ridiculous...ha...
Ian: Whatever. You were checking out my ass.
The Butler: Oh good the dishwasher's fixed! Guess I'll wash some dishes now! Hi, Ian...

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Greta: I was totally checking out his ass.

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Evan: I am so filming a smart milk and Mentos video and putting it on YouTube. That shit will go so viral...

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Bitte and Desdemona: *try for more babies*
Daphne: Uhh, guys? I thought walk, talk, potty train and nursery rhyme were my toddler lessons? I don't remember anything about this in the pamphlet? Where is The Butler? I'd like my bath now...extra hot with a good mind scrubbing...

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Greta: Maybe if I just sit here and stare at what I want...
Ian: *allows this, because Ian*
Bitte: *judges Greta's desperation, finds it humorous*

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Greta: Oh, I suppose I could return the view a little.
Ian: Fuck yeah, nice view!
Bitte: *judges the view* I mean, I know it's wrong, but I mean, look at it!
Finn: *knows what Bitte is thinking* Well, this is awkward. Guess I'll keep staring at the cat tree.

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Isana: The cat tree? Really, Finn? I mean, here I am, giving you AMPLE OPPORTUNITY, and you're looking at furniture? Dusty, unused furniture?
Daphne: THE BUTLER! FETCH ME AWAY FROM THIS NONSENSE AT ONCE!

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The Living Room: CONTAIN ALL THE SIMS!!
Purity: Oh god, she smells so bad it makes my eyes burn...
Greta: *smells so bad she makes Purity's eyes burn*
Everyone Else: WE ARE HERE, WE ARE HERE, WE ARE HEEEERE!!

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Evan: ...more organized and better for creators! Can I? Please, mom?
Bitte: Dude, you're like 5...I'm not getting you a Macbook Pro...
Evan: I'm 12, actually.
Bitte: Still, keep wishing, brah.
Desdemona: *wears yellow pajamas, contemplates life*

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Evan: Yeah, I talked with the wife, and she said I can have one if I get her two more Dooney and Bourke's. I told her that'll happen when she can find one that holds as much as a Macbook. I'm sleeping on the couch tonight, but it was worth it. Lulz.

Evan Withers: 32, m, married, Ontario. As far as anyone on The Internet needs to know.

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Finn: TADA!

Excellent, now that you've finally got your dream job, go retire.

Finn: Aww...

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The Stove: *BURNINATES ALL THE PORK CHOPS*
Isana: *gives zero fucks*
Greta: Isana, I'm really impressed with your culinary skills, but FIRE, DUDE.

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Isana: Greta, I really think you're overreacting.
Greta: NO. THERE IS REALLY A REAL FIRE AND YOU COULD DIE.

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Greta: WHERE THE FUCK IS THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, OH MY GOD.
Isana: Oh for pity's sake, Greta! Calm down! No one is going to die!

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Well, shit. Didn't see that coming.

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Isana: I didn't really like her that much, but I feel compelled to ask, oh Grim One, please let her live!
Grim: Fine. You got one chance. Guess Which Hand is the name of the game.

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Isana: YES! SUCK ON THAT DEATHFACE!
Grim: Now that's just rude! I've been good to you people! Platinum graves and townie removal...I have never! GOOD DAY TO YOU.

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Desdemona: So you see, Evan sweetie, this is why gambling is always a good idea.
Evan: Oh, totes, man. I'm already the online Texas Hold'em champion.
Ian: *shows an emotion other than horny*
Bitte: *does not even know what to think right now*

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Greta: Oh, Ian, you delicious hunk of man! Thank you so much for saving my life!
Ian: *sniffle* Huh? Wha---oh...right. Right! You bet, peach!
Finn: Actually, it was Isana...

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Greta: Did we just become best friends?
Ian: YEP!

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Evan: Yeah, wiggle around...now growl something that sounds like a word. Make it something dog-ish. "Mama." "No bath." "Cookie..."
The Hound: Why can't I just say those things again?
Evan: Because a talking dog will be blown off as CGI, it has to feel authentic for it to go viral.
The Hound: This Internet thing is weird.

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Family bonding, the Withers way, Part 1.

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Evan: Oh, is this your vintage My First Pony?
Daphne: You know very well it is, give it back! it is an HEIRLOOM! For the HEIR. Which is clearly going to be ME!


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Evan: NOPE. I'm selling it on eBay. They're going for over a thousand!
Daphne: Scoundrel! How dare you!

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Evan: Guess what just shot up to the top of the Most Wanted list in vintage toys?
Daphne: YOU GIVE ME BACK MY SPEEDBOAT 3200, YOU ASSHOLE.

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Evan: Maybe you can buy it back, Princess Daphne!
Daphne: I will END you. It has been decreed!

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Finn: Ugh! What died in here?

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Finn: Apparently part of a pig and some kind of vegetation...

Oh, right. Greta's death chops...forgot about those. Heh.

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Evan: History Channel fandom will LOVE this. Half-Alien Dances with Human Child, Proves All The Theories.
Greta: Yeah, but I'm not even half...I'm like...an eighth or something.
Evan: Seriously, bro? Like the History Channel *cares*.

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The Butler *demonstrates what an exercise in futility looks like*
The Hound: I wonder when The Dog will be back. She's been gone for a long time...

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Greta: Y'all ready for this?

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Greta: Tada!

V. nice, Greta.

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Evan? What are you doing?

Evan: New webseries. I take entire foods and put them through the dishwasher to see what they look like after.

Yeah, but, every one is hungry...

Evan: They can eat Greta's cake. This one's Daphne's, no one will miss it.

Daphne grew up?

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Daphne grew up!

She is the Most Serious.

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Family bonding, the Withers Way, part 2.

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Since Greta is an elder, I invited her long-forgotten fiance over.

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And I allowed them to get married in the moonlight.

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Then he immediately dropped dead.

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Greta: I loved him so much!

Did you? What was his name?

Greta: ...uhh...IT DOESN'T MATTER NOW, HE'S GOOONNEE!!

Mmm-hmm.

Desdemona: This is puzzling, like this puzzle...

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Finn and Desdemona: Yeah, they kissed, and the he just DIED! Just like that!
Greta: I mean, couldn't I have at least gotten to have a honeymoon?
Ian: I'll moon you, honey...

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Isana: I FOUND IT! THE BATHTUB THAT IS HAPPILY WOODEN! THIS IS THE BEST DAY OF MY LIFE.

I feel like there is a more appropriate use for this tub...OH RIGHT. FOR WASHING THE DOGS. NOT THE PEOPLE.

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I HEARD THAT. I HEARD THAT TWICE IN THE LAST FEW HOURS. JUST BECAUSE A.J. DIED IT DOES NOT MEAN THERE IS MORE ROOM FOR BABIES. I HAD PLANS, YOU TWO. I WAS GOING TO GET THROUGH ONE GENERATION WITH ONLY TWO HEIRS TO CHOOSE FROM, AND NOW THERE WILL BE FOUR. SO HELP ME IF ONE OF YOU HAS TWINS.

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Evan: So, she kissed him, and *then* he died. Like...like a poisoned kiss? I'm just curious. I'm not going to blog about it or anything. >_>
Desdemona: Yeah...I can't explain it...

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Desdemona: When you blog about it, make sure you include the part where I told Greta that it was a puzzle that just couldn't be solved, and I pulled out my literal puzzle sphere to demonstrate my metaphorical point. Your readers will eat that up, trust me.

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Finn: What are you guys talking about?
Evan: Elephants.
Desdemona: You know, mating rituals and whatnot. Just your typical age inappropriate stuff...

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Isana: What you need to do, Greta, is find a reason to go on. Find something that makes you feel alive.

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Greta: Or some*one*.

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Purity: I'm just so glad you chose me to spend your golden years with...
Ian: Yeah, you're pretty okay.

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Greta: Oh, Ian. A.J.'s death combined with my own recent escape from death has just made me realize how grateful I am to you for being there for me. You are so good to me...
Ian: Uh, you bet! Anytime!

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Greta: I just know I can count on you to lift me up when I fall, like right now...
Ian: I think I like where this is going...?

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Bitte: *judges the unborn* I think this one will be a shining example, just like Evan is turning out to be! (Foreshadowing~~~)
Desdemona: It's a shame about Daphne...so uptight...
Ian: So you see, SHE came at ME, like this!
Purity: I forgive you this time, but next time, you better DROP HER.

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Ian: *does not drop her next time*
Purity: HOW DARE YOU! You are married to ME!
Ian: I just like her, that's all.
Greta: He likes me.
Isana: >:D Drama. I loves it.
Finn: *tries to duck out of this situation*

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Purity: Oh no you didn't! HOLD ME BACK, ISANA.
Ian: So, being married to you means I'm not allowed to like her?
Greta: He likes me!
Isana: *does not hold Purity back, stands idly, letting the chaos unfold*
Finn: *really just wants out of this situation*

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Purity: UGH. How can I hate him and still be so attracted to him!?
Isana: That's not where I was going with my advice, but I like your style, G.
Greta: He likes ME!

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Isana: I mean, I don't think you should have full on cheated with him like that...
Greta: HE likes ME!
Finn: Is it over?
Ian: ACHOO! Just a sneeze, lol. >_>

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Ian: Listen, you only have a few hours left to live, and I'm not that bad a guy. I want you to go out knowing that I'm truly sorry I did nothing to discourage Greta's affection. I may have encouraged it, even, and I'm sorry about that, too. I really do love you! Forgive me?
Purity: Yeah, yeah. I have to pee.

I made him apologize like four times. I do not know what happened that Greta was able to autonomously "Leap Into Arms," but I Blender'd on a family tag for the next several hours to keep things from getting out of hand again.

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The Dog: Twilight bark, activate!
The Hound: ATTENTION, HARPER VALLEY. ANOTHER TRIBUTE HAS DIED. PURITY WITHERS, FROM DISTRICT...uhh...THIS ONE.

The tag only needed to last a couple hours, though, because Purity died that evening. In the upstairs hallway. I missed the whole affair because I was watching other sims.

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Ian: Welp, she's dead now, so...
Greta: Aww, I'm sorry to hear that...

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Ian: No, I mean, with her gone, you and I can, y'know...
Greta: No, I'm afraid not. We're *family*, Ian.

beescratch: *removes family tag*

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Ian: WHYYY?!
Greta: Oh, hey, wait a minute!

I'm not actually going to let anything happen...again...but I like the element of danger.

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Isana: Yeah, and she took that advice to mean that she should CHEAT!
Bitte: You're kidding!

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Isana: I mean, not that I can fault her, it is IAN we're talking about. I'd try to get that, if something were to happen to Finn.
Bitte: I think the biggest shame is that they didn't just wait a few hours, you know? Let Purity die on a happy note at least. But, I completely agree with you. Ian is just so...
Ian: Turn around, Greta, you look tense.
Greta: I do have a little stress in my ~lower back~.

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Et tu, Bitte?

Bitte: I know. I can't believe it myself. Don't look at me.
Ian: I'm just so what, Bitte? Dreamy? Handsome? Godlike? Heh, heh, heh,
Isana: ...arrogant...

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Finn: *senses Isana's waning interest, swoops in* SO YOU KNOW MY WIFE WHO IS STANDING RIGHT HERE BUT IS PROBABLY NOT LISTENING TO US GOSSIP?
Bitte: Uh, yeah, dad...?
Isana: You bet your ass I'm listening, what?
Ian: This isn't about me...

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Finn: She lost a fight!
Bitte: What?! I can't imagine that's true...
Isana: What's that?! YOU WANNA FIGHT?!
Ian: It might be a little bit about me, though...

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Finn: TO BENNY!
Bitte: Grandpa?! The nicest nice to ever nice? Mom lost a fight to him?!
Isana: RIGHT HOOK TO THE FACE, JACKASS.
Ian: Nope. Definitely not about me.

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Isana: Okay everyone, huddle up. I think we need to finally take a stand and put and end to alien abductions!
Everyone Else, including me: *is confused by the sudden soapboxing*

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Everyone Else, including me: *suddenly understands ulterior motive*

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Evan: You're supposed to sign this. Don't get too excited, I googled all the answers, and I couldn't tell you what they are now. But my blog has 5,000 followers already!

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Allegedly Evan brought Molly home from school. I think he met her on a preteen dating site. She's not related in any way to the Withers. Gotta be from the Internet.

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Daphne: GAH!

What's wrong, Daph?

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Daphne: Do you realized I haven't been mentioned once since my BIRTHDAY!? Is it because I don't smile? It's because I don't smile, isn't it?

Well, you are kind of serious. All needs fulfilling and skilling...it's not that interesting.

Daphne: Well, I still want to be heir. Thank you for your honest feedback.

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Molly's mom, Tawny. In case you wondered.

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Greta: *is the first person to acknowledge Wendell since her birth, two days ago*

That's Wendell, guys. She's been around a couple days, but she's a clone of Evan, so I kind forgot about her until, well, now.

Wendell: Oh my God, human contact, I can't even! Okay, Wendy, play it cool...so, uh...you make bottles often, or...?

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Finn: Look! I'm a distraught widow, finally making a play for the true love of my life!
Isana: And I'm the consummate playboy, always willing to accept romantic advances of any kind!
Daphne: So, I try to slap your hand, then you try to slap mine? And it's fun?
Desdemona: Yeah, and you're supposed to giggle.
Daphne: Baby steps.
The Dog: I see the plan has stayed its course in my absence. Good, good.

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Daphne: There, I played. Am I smiling?

...sorta...

Daphne: Improvement! Excellent.

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Bitte: This one's not a clone!
Daphne: Should I get excited...or...? I think I'm supposed to, but it wouldn't be genuine, because that child is competition...I'll just gaze interestedly.
Georgia: I'm here. Hi!

And since both babies were finally here, I aged them up together:
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Wendell, aka, Wendy.

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Georgia, aka, Georgia.

AND THAT IS FINALLY THE END OF THIS UPDATE IT WAS A LONG ONE, YEAH?!


Want a Withers?
(It needs updated, I know!)

Comments

i laughed out loud so many tijmes dude i caznnot even recount them all or control my tuypos
ngl, I chuckled myself over this one.

I was entirely too proud of "I'll moon you, honey."

The typos are only proof you mean it! <33

Edited at 2013-05-29 02:43 am (UTC)
Poppy

October 2014

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